Author: Editor

Mexico Builds Wall First

Mexico has erected a full-length border wall to keep out the millions of Americans hoping to flee from a Trump Presidency.

The wall, which stretches the entire length of the Mexico-US border, was built by a team of Mexican labourers who until recently had formed the backbone of the American agricultural industry. They’ve since pre-empted a Trump victory and returned home, causing the US agricultural industry to collapse.

UK completely unprepared for snow for 10,438th winter running

BRITAIN has once again found itself unprepared for snow as it has been since the beginning of recorded history. 

Just as our fur-clad forebears in mud-brick houses were shaken to the core by the cold white magic covering the ground, people across the North today found themselves panicked by an inch of snow as if it had never been known in their lifetimes.

Historian Mary Fisher said: “As Chaucer wrote, ‘Snowe? Then thy milke man shal be late on his round as if this hath never byn befor.’

Obama hospitalised with bitten tongue

BARACK Obama has been released from hospital after biting his tongue too hard around Donald Trump.

After showing President-elect Trump how door handles work and calling for calm amongst people who assume he’s a Kenyan terrorist, Obama will wear a surgical tongue guard for the remainder of his presidency.

A White House source said: “Once President Trump is sworn in, Barack plans to spend a month or two in the South Carolina woods, miles away from the nearest swear jar, screaming his head off.”

Prickly Pear in Nhulunbuy

prickly-pearPrickly Pear, Opuntia stricta var dillenii, is a Class A weed in the NT (must be eradicated)…for good reason. It has a hard seed carried in the sweet fleshy fruit, which bird love and will pass through their gut unchanged, ready to germinate. Each fruit and flat branchlet has projections called areoles, housing spines and from which new plants can develop if left in contact with the soil. It is highly drought resistant and if bushfire or stock destroy the top of the plant, it will regenerate from bulb. Yes…think Terminator!

prickly-pearIt seems that the ugly face of Prickly Pear has reached our lovely part of the world. Dhimurru has just been made aware of 2 large plants in town and will remove them asap…but it is absolutely vital that any other plants in town are identified and removed in a clinical and careful manner.

If you have this plant in your yard or in a pot plant do not compost it, bury it or throw it in the bin.

Please call Luke Playford at Dhimurru on 0499037753 to discuss how to deal with it.

 

 

NT election: Walker says legal avenues available if she loses

The politician in line to become the Northern Territory deputy chief minister has said she will consider taking legal action if she loses by less than five votes in the Arnhem Land seat of Nhulunbuy.

After preferences, incumbent deputy Labor leader Lynne Walker is now 10 votes behind independent candidate Yingiya Mark Guyula in the seat of Nhulunbuy.

The NT Electoral Commission will not declare the result until Monday, after the postal vote deadline.

“The only potential next step is if the margin narrows to five or less votes not my way that it can be taken to the Court of Disputed Returns if there is a case that Labor could put,” Ms Walker told Gove FM.

Secret Deal to Resolve Gove Land Rights Dispute

Arnhem Land’s two most powerful clans have secretly agreed to stage their own independent ­judicial inquiry to try to resolve a long-running land rights dispute that has cost millions of dollars and held back development for years.

The Gumatj and Rirratjingu clans are locked in a bitter fight for control of royalties flowing from Rio Tinto’s bauxite mine on the Gove Peninsula and rights to issue leases and collect rents in parts of the region’s main Aboriginal community of Yirrkala.

Yirrkala store scandal

A prominent chef’s visit to a remote Indigenous community’s “disgusting” supermarket has prompted formal complaints to the Health Department and the Northern Land Council (NLC).

South Australian chef Duncan Welgemoed arrived in Yirrkala, about 1,000km east of Darwin in the Northern Territory, last week as a visitor with the Rirratjingu Aboriginal Corporation.

It was the chef’s first time in an Indigenous community and he was shocked by the food being sold at Yirrkala’s primary food store.

“[There was] tinned food going mouldy, fruit and vegetables on the shelf were rotting [and] food oxidising in the freezer,” Mr Welgemoed said to 105.7 ABC Darwin.

“It was all pretty disgusting.”

Wikipedia celebrates first ever donation!

Football refers to a number of sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball with the foot to score a goal. Unqualified, the word football is understood to refer to whichever form of football is the most popular in the regional context in which the word appears.

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