Politics

Mexico Builds Wall First

Mexico has erected a full-length border wall to keep out the millions of Americans hoping to flee from a Trump Presidency.

The wall, which stretches the entire length of the Mexico-US border, was built by a team of Mexican labourers who until recently had formed the backbone of the American agricultural industry. They’ve since pre-empted a Trump victory and returned home, causing the US agricultural industry to collapse.

Obama hospitalised with bitten tongue

BARACK Obama has been released from hospital after biting his tongue too hard around Donald Trump.

After showing President-elect Trump how door handles work and calling for calm amongst people who assume he’s a Kenyan terrorist, Obama will wear a surgical tongue guard for the remainder of his presidency.

A White House source said: “Once President Trump is sworn in, Barack plans to spend a month or two in the South Carolina woods, miles away from the nearest swear jar, screaming his head off.”

NT election: Walker says legal avenues available if she loses

The politician in line to become the Northern Territory deputy chief minister has said she will consider taking legal action if she loses by less than five votes in the Arnhem Land seat of Nhulunbuy.

After preferences, incumbent deputy Labor leader Lynne Walker is now 10 votes behind independent candidate Yingiya Mark Guyula in the seat of Nhulunbuy.

The NT Electoral Commission will not declare the result until Monday, after the postal vote deadline.

“The only potential next step is if the margin narrows to five or less votes not my way that it can be taken to the Court of Disputed Returns if there is a case that Labor could put,” Ms Walker told Gove FM.

Empty homes in Nhulunbuy reserved for business despite housing crisis

Accommodation left by Arnhem Land’s departing workers goes to development corporation despite 12-year wait for housing.

Houses and apartments left empty by departing resource workers have been earmarked for a government development corporation to support businesses, despite long waits for public housing in Nhulunbuy in the Northern Territory.

There is a 12-year wait for one-bedroom public housing in the remote town, which sits on land excised for Rio Tinto’s bauxite mine on the Gove peninsula in north-east Arnhem Land. It’s the longest wait in the Northern Territory.