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Massive US/Aus field warfare exercise begins in Queensland

AS North Korea threatens us and our allies with a developing nuclear capacity, more than 30,000 Australian and American military personnel are giving a well-drilled response.

Today, some 10,000 soldiers are defending Stanage Bay, north of Rockhampton. It was the largest beach landing by Australian troops since WWII and will be followed by 10 days of field warfare.

They are in north Queensland for Operation Talisman Saber (TS17), the biggest joint exercise by the Australian Defence Force with American partners, which this year includes participants from New Zealand, Japan and Canada.

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Astronaut John Glenn has died aged 95

JOHN Glenn, whose 1962 flight as the first US astronaut to orbit the Earth made him an all-American hero and propelled him to a long career in the US Senate, has died aged 95.

The last survivor of the original Mercury 7 astronauts died at the James Cancer Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, where he was hospitalised for more than a week, said Hank Wilson, communications director for the John Glenn School of Public Affairs.

Glenn was the ultimate all-American hero. He was the first American to orbit the Earth, a war hero fighter pilot, a record-setting test pilot, a longtime senator, a presidential candidate and a man who defied age and gravity to go back into space at 77.

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Trump Calls For US To Exit EU

Saying it was time to ‘make America Great again’, Republican presumptive Presidential nominee Donald Trump has begun a bid for his country to leave the European Union.

At a rally today, Mr Trump said. “Why should we answer to Brussels? Who even knows where Brussels is? I do. I’ve been there. I know loads of people there. And they’re not Americans. We’re Americans. Which is why we need to leave the EU. If I’m President, it’s the first thing I’ll do”.

“People are laughing at us. They’re actually laughing at us. People say to me, ‘Donald, why is America part of the European Union?’ And I say ‘Obama’. And they say ‘I hate Obama’. And I say, ‘I know Obama. I’ve met him. He’s not even American. And the European Union isn’t American either’.

“I know all the best unions. And the European Union is not one of them. The best union is the United States. So why are we even part of the EU? Let’s give the EU the finger. We won’t even need a referendum. We’ll just leave. I don’t even care if they try to stop us. I’m sick and tired of people trying to stop America leaving the EU”.

A poll today showed that 48% of Americans supported Donald Trump’s plan to leave the EU.

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Mexico Builds Wall First

Mexico has erected a full-length border wall to keep out the millions of Americans hoping to flee from a Trump Presidency.

The wall, which stretches the entire length of the Mexico-US border, was built by a team of Mexican labourers who until recently had formed the backbone of the American agricultural industry. They’ve since pre-empted a Trump victory and returned home, causing the US agricultural industry to collapse.

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UK completely unprepared for snow for 10,438th winter running

BRITAIN has once again found itself unprepared for snow as it has been since the beginning of recorded history. 

Just as our fur-clad forebears in mud-brick houses were shaken to the core by the cold white magic covering the ground, people across the North today found themselves panicked by an inch of snow as if it had never been known in their lifetimes.

Historian Mary Fisher said: “As Chaucer wrote, ‘Snowe? Then thy milke man shal be late on his round as if this hath never byn befor.’
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Obama hospitalised with bitten tongue

BARACK Obama has been released from hospital after biting his tongue too hard around Donald Trump.

After showing President-elect Trump how door handles work and calling for calm amongst people who assume he’s a Kenyan terrorist, Obama will wear a surgical tongue guard for the remainder of his presidency.

A White House source said: “Once President Trump is sworn in, Barack plans to spend a month or two in the South Carolina woods, miles away from the nearest swear jar, screaming his head off.”